...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
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I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
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Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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