So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i came on her dog
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We need to get me chipped asap
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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