im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
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it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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