the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
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Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My dick has a subreddit
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I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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