okay pat passed out under dana's car
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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