Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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