Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize