Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We have started to decorate penises.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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