Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize