Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize