i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I need mimosas to revive my soul
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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