omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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