oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize