I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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