best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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