Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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