in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
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it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
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I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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