My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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