I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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