I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize