I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize