Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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