he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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