It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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