Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Buhtt sex?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
