My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize