Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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