I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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