All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
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They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
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I need a burrito and a hug.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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