I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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