he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
im six kinds of drunk right now
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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