Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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