I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Is her dick bigger than yours?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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