the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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