3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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