Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
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Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I believe in your delicious
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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