I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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