if only i could text you this smell
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize