But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she woke up with a sticky ear
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize