I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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