Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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