apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
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