Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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