He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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