that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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