Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
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Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
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Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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