Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize