the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize