I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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