Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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