sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
if only i could text you this smell
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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